Note (October 2026): This guide has been updated with the research behind each parenting style, the fourth (uninvolved) style it previously left out, and the American Academy of Pediatrics’ advice against bed sharing with babies.
Psychologists describe four main parenting styles: authoritative (warm with clear rules), authoritarian (strict, little warmth), permissive (warm, few rules) and uninvolved (little warmth or structure). Research, mostly from English-speaking countries, links authoritative parenting with the best child outcomes, but most parents blend styles to fit their child and family.
Key Takeaways
- Psychologist Diana Baumrind described three parenting styles in 1967: authoritative, authoritarian and permissive.
- Eleanor Maccoby and John Martin added a fourth, neglectful or uninvolved, in 1983.
- The styles are sorted by two dimensions: how warm and responsive a parent is, and how many demands and limits the parent sets.
- Attachment parenting is a separate philosophy named by pediatrician William Sears; the AAP advises against bed sharing with babies under any circumstances.
- The AAP recommends against spanking, threatening, insulting or shaming children and favors positive reinforcement, limit setting and redirection.
Being a parent is something that can be a bit tough sometimes. You want to do the best that you can so that your kids will be able to thrive. However, your kids will sometimes act up and do things that will make you mad. You could be trying to get your kids to do their homework, but they’ll want to just keep playing video games instead.
Depending on the type of parenting style that you use, you’re going to react to this situation in different ways. Some parents are more laid-back about things like this, but others are going to be much more strict. Which way is the right way to approach things can be hard to say. What’s important is to find a parenting style that makes sense for you.
Attachment Parenting
For some, attachment parenting is going to make a lot of sense. What is attachment parenting? Attachment parenting is a philosophy, named by American pediatrician William Sears, in which a parent (traditionally the mother) responds closely and consistently to a child’s physical and emotional needs. Breastfeeding is one of the practices Sears recommends, so many parents who follow this style breastfeed.
They will also hold their kids more than most other parents. Some also choose to sleep in the same bed as their children, although for babies the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) advises against bed sharing under any circumstances and recommends sharing a room, with the baby on a separate sleep surface, instead. Many feel that this style of parenting allows them to develop a very close bond with their kids. However, there are downsides to this parenting method that could make it impractical for many families.
Authoritarian Parenting
One parenting style that could be considered the complete opposite of attachment parenting is authoritarian parenting. When you adhere to this parenting style, you’re going to think that kids should simply do as they’re told.
Instead of being very in-tune with their needs, you’re just going to give them rules to follow. You’ll expect them to do as you say or else there will be consequences.
Research on this style is not encouraging: children raised by authoritarian parents have tended to be obedient and conformist but quieter, less socially confident and less happy. It doesn’t help kids to learn why they should do certain things. For the most part, you should choose whatever style you think is best for your family. Most child-development research does not recommend it, and the AAP advises parents not to use spanking, hitting, threatening, insulting or shaming, which are common in strict authoritarian homes.
Permissive Parenting
Permissive parenting is another side of the coin that you could consider when looking into parenting styles. Permissive (also called indulgent) parenting is warm and responsive but places few demands or limits on the child; any rules that exist are rarely enforced. It’s a more hands-off style of parenting where you try not to interfere with your children more than you need to.
Essentially, you think your child will grow better if they’re left to learn on their own with only a bit of guidance from you about what’s right and wrong.
Critics of this parental style say that it will lead to kids being too unruly. Baumrind’s research on preschool children of permissive parents found they tended to be less mature and to have weaker impulse control, although individual outcomes vary and some children raised this way do well.
It might be good to take a slightly permissive attitude to certain things. Being too hands-off could have dire consequences, though.
Authoritative Parenting
Authoritative parenting is significantly different than authoritarian parenting. This parenting style sees you setting rules and explaining why the rules are in place. You spend time talking to your children and nourishing them, but you do have expectations of them. If children act up or break the rules that you’ve set, then there will be consequences.
You aren’t a dictator ruling with an iron fist when you’re an authoritative parent, though. These types of parents take the feelings of their children into account.
Instead of punishing a child and moving on, you’re more likely going to take the time to explain why their actions were wrong. You’ll do things out of love and try to help your kid grow when they make mistakes.
It’s easy to see why this style of parenting would be appealing. You’re going to be very involved in your kids’ lives, but you won’t be trying to control every aspect of what they do.
Kids will be free to learn and you’ll be communicating with your kids regularly. Most studies, mainly from English-speaking countries, link authoritative parenting with the best outcomes for children, including stronger emotional regulation and higher academic achievement, although results vary between cultures.
How Do You Choose Which Parenting Style is Right?
Choosing which parenting style is right involves taking the time to think about the pros and cons of each option. After reading the information above, you should have a pretty good idea of how each style works.
Imagine how a specific approach to parenting would impact your child. You’ll then be able to decide whether that style is a good fit for your lifestyle or not.
You might find attachment parenting to be appealing, but it won’t necessarily be practical in every single way. Perhaps authoritative parenting makes a lot of sense to you, but you’d like to adopt aspects of other parental styles.
You can certainly do that and figure out a way to take care of your kids that incorporates many philosophies. The most important thing is to be committed to helping your kids grow and become fine adults.
What Are the Four Main Parenting Styles?
The four main parenting styles are authoritative, authoritarian, permissive and uninvolved. Developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind of the University of California, Berkeley described the first three in a 1967 study of preschool children. In 1983, Eleanor Maccoby and John Martin split Baumrind’s permissive category in two, adding the neglectful or uninvolved style.
Each style is defined by two dimensions. Responsiveness (or warmth) is how far a parent responds to a child’s needs in a supportive, accepting way. Demandingness (or control) is how many rules and expectations a parent sets and how consistently they are enforced.
| Style | Warmth / responsiveness | Rules / demands | Outcomes linked in research |
|---|---|---|---|
| Authoritative | High | High, with reasons explained | Generally the best: more independent, self-reliant children with stronger emotional regulation |
| Authoritarian | Low | High, with little explanation | Obedient but often quieter, less happy and less socially confident |
| Permissive (indulgent) | High | Low | More impulsive and less mature in Baumrind’s preschool research |
| Uninvolved (neglectful) | Low | Low | Higher risk of low self-esteem, risky behavior and poorer school results |
What Is Uninvolved (Neglectful) Parenting?
Uninvolved parenting, also called neglectful parenting, is low in both warmth and control. Uninvolved parents may provide food, shelter and clothing but pay little attention to what their children are doing, feeling or thinking. Sometimes the cause is stress in the parent’s own life rather than indifference.
Children raised this way are more likely to struggle with low self-esteem, loneliness and risky behavior, and research has linked the style to lower school performance. A busy or exhausted parent can drift toward this style without meaning to, so regular one-to-one time and basic monitoring matter even when life is hectic. Practical ideas are in our guide to balancing work from home and parenthood.
Where Does Attachment Parenting Fit?
Attachment parenting is not one of the four Baumrind-based styles. It is a philosophy for babies and young children based on attachment theory, the work of John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, and it was named and popularized by pediatrician William Sears. William and Martha Sears published The Baby Book in 1993 and The Attachment Parenting Book in 2001, and Attachment Parenting International was founded in 1994.
Sears summarizes the approach as the “Seven B’s”:
- Birth bonding
- Breastfeeding
- Baby wearing
- Bedding close to baby
- Belief in the language value of your baby’s cry
- Beware of baby trainers
- Balance
Some of these ideas have been questioned; for example, the 1967 birth-bonding study Sears cites was later revised by its own authors. The most important safety point concerns sleep, covered next.
Is Co-Sleeping Safe for Babies?
The American Academy of Pediatrics says parents should avoid bed sharing with their baby under any circumstances, including with twins and other multiples. Instead, the AAP recommends sharing a room for at least the first 6 months, with the baby on a separate sleep surface close to the parent’s bed. According to the AAP, room sharing can decrease the risk of SIDS by as much as 50%.
The AAP also warns that:
- The risk of sleep-related infant death is up to 67 times higher when an infant sleeps with someone on a couch, soft armchair or cushion.
- The risk is more than 10 times higher when a baby bed shares with someone who is fatigued, has used alcohol or drugs, or has taken medication that makes it harder to wake.
- The risk of sleep-related infant death while bed sharing is 5 to 10 times higher when the baby is younger than 4 months.
- If a parent brings the baby into bed to feed or comfort them, the baby should go back to their own sleep space before the parent goes to sleep.
Parents can still follow attachment parenting’s emphasis on closeness through room sharing, holding and responsive feeding without bed sharing.
What Does the Research Say About Discipline?
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that parents do not use spanking, hitting, slapping, threatening, insulting, humiliating or shaming; its statement on spanking was last updated in November 2018. The AAP says spanking alone is associated with adverse outcomes similar to those seen in children who experience physical abuse.
The AAP instead recommends positive reinforcement of appropriate behavior, limit setting, redirecting and setting future expectations. These tools match the authoritative style: firm limits, explained calmly, inside a warm relationship. For children who struggle with big feelings, see these calming strategies you can teach your children.
How to Find a Parenting Style That Works for You: Step by Step
- Notice your default. Think about how you react under stress, such as the homework-versus-video-games standoff. Research shows the style parents experienced as children often influences the one they use.
- Rate yourself on the two dimensions. Ask how warm and responsive you are, and how clear and consistent your rules are. A low score on either points to what to work on.
- Set a few clear rules and explain them. Keep rules age-appropriate, say why they exist and agree on consequences in advance.
- Follow through calmly. Use limit setting and redirection rather than threats or shaming, which the AAP advises against.
- Adjust to the child. A child’s temperament affects the parenting they receive, parents may parent siblings differently, and parenting changes as children reach adolescence.
- Agree with your co-parent. Our article on shared parenting after divorce covers working together when parents live apart.
Can You Mix Parenting Styles?
Yes. Recent research treats parenting as a continuum rather than fixed boxes, and studies increasingly measure warmth, responsiveness, autonomy support and behavioral control separately because most parents show traits of more than one style. Researchers have also criticized Baumrind’s categories as overly broad.
Culture matters too. In some Asian populations, studies have found the authoritarian style associated with outcomes as good as the authoritative style, while most studies in English-speaking countries favor authoritative parenting. Parenting also interacts with biological, social and cultural factors, so no style guarantees a particular outcome.
When to Ask for Help
If a child’s behavior, mood or anxiety is getting worse despite consistent, warm parenting, talk to the child’s pediatrician or a licensed child mental health professional. Our guide to improving your children’s mental health covers everyday habits that help, and household routines such as screen time limits by age are an easy place to practice clear, explained rules.
Frequently Asked Questions
What are the 4 types of parenting styles?
The four types are authoritative, authoritarian, permissive (indulgent) and uninvolved (neglectful). Diana Baumrind described the first three in 1967, and Eleanor Maccoby and John Martin added the uninvolved style in 1983.
Which parenting style is considered the best?
Authoritative parenting, which combines warmth with clear, explained rules, is linked with the best outcomes in most studies from English-speaking countries. Results vary by culture and by child, so it is a guide rather than a rule.
What is the difference between authoritative and authoritarian parenting?
Both styles set high expectations, but authoritative parents are also warm and explain their rules, while authoritarian parents expect obedience with little explanation or emotional responsiveness.
Who invented attachment parenting?
The term attachment parenting was coined by American pediatrician William Sears, who set out its principles with Martha Sears in The Baby Book (1993) and The Attachment Parenting Book (2001).
Is it safe to share a bed with a baby?
The American Academy of Pediatrics advises against bed sharing with a baby under any circumstances. It recommends room sharing, with the baby on a separate sleep surface, for at least the first 6 months.
