To enjoy your personal time, treat it as chosen solitude rather than loneliness: plan one restful activity (a short nap of about 20 minutes, music or a book), one active or creative one (a walk, a hobby, a new skill) and one treat. Keep screens and gaming in balance, and stay connected with people afterwards.
Key Takeaways
- Solitude is chosen time with yourself; loneliness is the painful feeling of being cut off. The tips below are about the first.
- The Sleep Foundation says the best nap length for adults is about 20 minutes and no longer than 30, usually before 3 p.m.
- The NHS lists five steps to mental wellbeing, and four of them (being active, learning skills, giving and mindfulness) can be practised alone.
- Gaming is a good way to unwind, but the WHO recognizes gaming disorder when play crowds out other parts of life.
- Personal time works best as part of a balance with friends and family, not a replacement for them.
It is great to spend time with others. Being social and catching up with old friends and family members can be a special thing to do.
The people around you have such a direct impact on the quality of your life; if great people surround you, your life will undeniably benefit from their presence. Therefore, if you do have amazing friends and a wonderful family, you should appreciate them.
Still, as fantastic as it is to spend time with others, it’s also important to be able to enjoy some personal time. Time to yourself will allow you to reset and clear your mind. It can even be quite draining to talk to others and be in social situations when you’re exhausted or stressed. So, this is why you should try to enjoy it and get some much-needed fun and relaxation in when you are on your own.
If you are someone who doesn’t always like being on their own for long periods, you are not alone; this is a very common occurrence. However, this usually occurs when people don’t know how to spend their alone time. If you fall into this category, the following tips could be the inspiration you need to start enjoying your alone time a little bit more.
Chill Out
When you do have the luxury of not having to do anything and get the chance to spend time alone, you should use this time to relax and chill out. For different people, this can mean different things. Some people might like the idea of catching up on their sleep – lying down and having a nap is how many people would find the most enjoyment in their alone time.
While other people might want to sit back on the couch and listen to some of their favorite songs, whatever helps you to chill out and relax is down to your preference. It could even be sitting down and starting a new book. The choice is yours; it’s your free time, after all! Just make sure that it allows you to fully relax and rest your mind – that way, you can recharge and feel ready for whatever life throws at you.
Gaming
Gaming is a popular option when it comes to spending time alone. After all, it is just so easy to get lost in the world of gaming. In the modern day, these games are so entertaining and immersive, and gaming can easily take up hours of your day.
If you haven’t tried gaming in the past, then now might be the time to do it, given how much more advanced they are in the current day and age. Even if you only have a computer or a smartphone, you can still enjoy lots of great online titles.
For example, there are strategy games, board games, first-person shooters, survival games, role-playing and MMORPGs, and even table games playable over the internet these days. All of these can be found through a web browser and are just a few clicks away.
The latter genre is a particularly fun choice that will never die out because it’s been a timeless hobby for centuries. Table games are usually easy to learn, with some involving luck or skill, or a blend of both, making them appealing since they entice people to play time and time again to hone their abilities. They’re quite simple. Strictly, the name comes from the “tables” family of games such as backgammon, whose boards are divided into four quadrants, or “tables”; not every game people call a table game uses that board.
Table games also tend to use dice and/or cards to play, again adding to their simplicity. Classic games in this broad group include backgammon, the best-known tables game, whose family dates back to around 3000 BC, and board games such as chess, as well as card games that involve gambling, such as blackjack and baccarat, which put real money at risk.
They have also evolved over the many decades, most notably in their digital format – yes, you can play table games online in the modern day, but casino versions involve real money, so free, non-gambling versions of chess, backgammon and card games are the better choice for relaxing alone. Still, they have been a popular pastime throughout history, even in the days before the internet took over and changed video gaming forever – and it’s likely they’ll remain a fan favorite for many years to come if their past track record is anything to go by!
Eat What You Want
Having a good diet is nothing but beneficial. However, having a super strict diet can lead to problems down the line; there’s only so long a person can go without the foods they truly love and enjoy.
If you find yourself having some time alone, don’t be afraid to eat what you like, allowing yourself treat days every now and then.
For example, you can get takeout, go out to your favorite restaurant or fast food joint, or cook your favorite meal. After all, when you have been good and consistent with your diet, you have already done more than enough to deserve a cheat meal!
Solitude vs. Loneliness: What Is the Difference?
Solitude and loneliness both involve being alone, but they feel very different. The theologian Paul Tillich (1963) described solitude as expressing “the glory of being alone” and loneliness as “the pain of being alone.” The philosopher Hannah Arendt drew the same line: in solitude you are together with yourself, while in loneliness you feel deserted by others.
Researchers have linked chosen solitude to real benefits. Long and Averill (2003) noted that solitude offers freedom from other people’s demands and distractions, which can spark creativity, and gives time for contemplation and self-examination. Coplan and Bowker (2013) wrote that solitude can enhance self-esteem and generate clarity.
Loneliness is a separate problem. In May 2023 the US Surgeon General, Vivek Murthy, issued the advisory “Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation,” which likened the dangers of loneliness to smoking and obesity and linked it to heart disease, stroke and dementia. A 2021 study led by Richard Weissbourd found that around 36% of American adults reported chronic loneliness. If time alone leaves you feeling low rather than refreshed, that is a signal to reach out, not to spend more time by yourself. For more on the upside, see the benefits of spending time alone.
How Long Should a Nap Be?
A nap of about 20 minutes is the sweet spot for most adults. According to the Sleep Foundation, the best nap length for adults is about 20 minutes and no longer than 30 minutes, and naps are best taken eight or more hours before bedtime, which for most people means before 3 p.m.
The Sleep Foundation links short naps to better memory, logical reasoning and the ability to complete complex tasks, and says they can relieve stress after a short night. Grogginess usually comes from being woken during deep sleep, which is more likely in a long nap. A nap is too much if it interferes with sleep at night; the site’s tips for improving your sleep quality cover the night-time side.
Five Ways to Make Time Alone Good for Your Wellbeing
The NHS lists five steps to mental wellbeing: connect with other people, be physically active, learn new skills, give to others, and pay attention to the present moment (mindfulness). Four of them fit naturally into personal time.
- Be physically active. The World Health Organization recommends that adults aged 18 to 64 do at least 150 minutes of moderate-intensity physical activity per week. A solo walk, bike ride or home workout during your free time counts toward that total.
- Learn a new skill. The NHS says learning new skills can improve mental wellbeing. Cooking a new recipe, an instrument, a language or a craft all work; this guide on how to improve your mental health while learning a new hobby has more ideas.
- Practise mindfulness. Paying attention to the present moment is the NHS’s fifth step. Try a few minutes of slow breathing, a walk without headphones, or the routines in mindful living and relaxation techniques.
- Give to others. Acts of giving and kindness are on the NHS list too. Writing a thank-you note, baking for a neighbor or volunteering an hour can all be done on your own schedule.
- Connect afterwards. Connecting with other people is the first NHS step. Personal time recharges you for relationships rather than replacing them.
Ideas for Personal Time at a Glance
| Activity | Time needed | What it does for you |
|---|---|---|
| Short nap | About 20 minutes (no more than 30) | Rest and sharper thinking, per the Sleep Foundation |
| Walk, ride or workout | Any amount; 150 minutes a week is the WHO adult target | Physical activity, one of the NHS wellbeing steps |
| Music, reading or a film | As long as you like | Low-effort relaxation |
| A new skill or hobby | Regular short sessions | Learning, one of the NHS wellbeing steps |
| Board, card or video games | Set a limit before you start | Fun and focus, if play stays in balance |
| A favorite meal | One meal | An occasional treat within a balanced diet |
How to Keep Gaming Healthy
Gaming is one of the easiest ways to fill personal time, so it helps to know where the line is. The World Health Organization added gaming disorder to ICD-11 in June 2018, the World Health Assembly approved it in May 2019, and ICD-11 came into use on 1 January 2022.
Under ICD-11, gaming disorder means a lack of control over gaming, giving games priority over other interests, and carrying on despite negative consequences. The pattern must cause significant impairment in areas such as family, social, educational or work life and would normally be evident for at least 12 months. Most people who game for fun never meet that bar, but a simple rule helps: decide how long you will play before you start. Solo card games are another option; see Klondike Solitaire for relaxation and mindfulness.
A Simple Plan for Your Next Free Evening
- Put your phone on silent or do-not-disturb for a set period.
- Start with something restful: a 20-minute nap (before 3 p.m.), music or a chapter of a book.
- Add something active or creative: a walk, a workout, a recipe or a hobby session.
- Choose one treat, such as a favorite meal, a film or a game with a time limit.
- Finish by planning a call or meet-up with someone, so solitude stays balanced with connection.
The same approach works for bigger occasions too, as this guide on how to celebrate your birthday alone shows.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it healthy to spend time alone?
Chosen time alone can be healthy. Researchers including Long and Averill (2003) link solitude to creativity, contemplation and self-examination. It becomes a problem when it turns into unwanted isolation or loneliness, which the US Surgeon General’s 2023 advisory linked to heart disease, stroke and dementia.
What is the difference between solitude and loneliness?
Solitude is being alone by choice and feeling at ease with yourself; loneliness is the painful feeling of being cut off from others. The theologian Paul Tillich summed it up as “the glory of being alone” versus “the pain of being alone.”
How long should a nap be during free time?
About 20 minutes and no longer than 30 minutes for most adults, according to the Sleep Foundation. It recommends napping eight or more hours before bedtime, which usually means before 3 p.m.
What can I do alone at home to relax?
Good options include a short nap, music, reading, a home workout, cooking a favorite meal, learning a skill, a few minutes of mindfulness, or a board, card or video game with a time limit. Pairing one restful activity with one active one gives a balanced block of free time.
How do I know if I am gaming too much?
The WHO’s ICD-11 definition of gaming disorder lists losing control over gaming, putting games ahead of other interests, and continuing despite harm to family, social, school or work life, normally for at least 12 months. If that sounds familiar, talk to a doctor.
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